Christmas isn't Christmas, 'Til It Happens In Your Heart, Somewhere Deep Inside You.... haha... do i even have any friends left after doing that?

So now that you all have a certain song running through your head, we can begin. =) Christmas 2011 was really really awesome for me! Christmas completely caught me off-guard this year... I was so focused on school and all the stuff that i had to get done that i didn't even really realize that Christmas was so close... and then all of a sudden, it was December 23. i bounded out of bed filled with christmas cheer (i'm not even being sarcastic... that is literally what happened. and okay, so maybe this bounding happened at like, 11:00 in the morning, but still... i felt happy and relaxed for the first time in a long time!) i spent the afternoon driving all over waterloo buying christmas presents and feeling happy! there was a point when i did lose my

good mood... but that is completely justifiable, because my van like, completely stopped working,

and i was kind of in a bad spot for it to just stop. it actually said the word "done" on that little rectangular screen that normally has a number on it. DONE. i looked at it and i was like, "no, no,

no, baby, you can't be done. please don't be done. not here. not now. in the tim hortons parking

lot, half in and half out of a parking space. don't be done. you have so much left to live for." and after several more tries and some very desperate praying, the word "done" disappeared, the number came back, and the van turned on again. it was a truly awesome moment. and then,

once the 23rd was over, it was the 24th, and i was sitting around a table with my family, eating

pizza and veggies and dip (okay, so maybe i didn't actually eat any veggies. but i did pass the

plate when it came around the table. i even looked at the carrots and considered taking one. that counts for something, right? and the only dip that i ate was what i dipped my pizza in.). so once my christmas spirit kicked in, it hit pretty hard. i had been so worried about my self

cause i didn't even feel excited about christmas. i apparently had nothing to worry about. =)

but even though i felt insanely happy and content, i did have moments where my heart ached. because there are people out there who did not at all have a good christmas. People who spent Christmas day planning their son's funeral. people who were mourning the loss of their child, brother, relative, or friend. Everything about this boy's death seemed so very unfair to me, and it was always kind of hanging in the back of my mind, even while i was

laughing and having fun with my own family. i guess that i was just kind of wondering why exactly this boy had to die. it seemed so unnecessary! and it seemed like his family deserved a

miracle instead of more pain. but when i was chatting with jason, he reminded me that God

knows exactly what he's doing. (btw, if you want to read a good blog, you should check out

jason's- it's called Cranial Puffs).

so anyways... back to my Christmas (yeah, i know everyone is just dying to hear about it... lol)...

this is me and my siblings on Christmas Eve. The expression on Kenton's face probably means that he's really really happy. But it's hard to tell with that boy. =)

these are the elves that we apparently couldn't have christmas without. and the candy canes that have been set out with the elves since i was, like, a baby. or maybe longer. i guess i don't know. cause i wasn't around before i was, um, born. anyways, the point is, when i told my mom and grandma that i couldn't find the elves, they sent me down into the dark, musty, low-ceilinged corners of the cellar to find the elves. oh wait... it wasn't me they sent into the cellar to pull out stuff.. it was kenton! =)

this is wendy... waiting to open gifts... poor kid! (try to look past the red eye... i was too lazy to fix it.)

Just what Dad always wanted! a pink, plastic camera! =) (it's actually wendy's gift...)

There are those who love their gifts, but contain their excitement... (they're the same people who refuse to smile for the camera... someday, kenton, i will catch you off-guard!)

and then there are those who let the excitement show.... gotta love renee's expression. =) (again... ignore the red eye.)

this is dad in the shirt i got him. i think he liked it, cause he went and put it on right away and wore it for the rest of the afternoon. phew. the family gift exchange

is over for another year. =)

must... get... lalaloopsy... dolls... out... of... box....

i'm serious... it's like our family was not even complete before these babies came along. they have gotta be the cutest, awesomest things around! i don't know why i like them so much, but i think they're the greatest thing since ranch chip dip!! (just so everyone knows, wendy got the dolls for Christmas. not me. i just kind of fell in love with them when i saw them. don't know why... they're not even soft or cuddly. they just look happy! freakishly happy... with big, black, blank eyes. kinda creepy, come to think of it...)

so that is some bits and pieces of my Christmas day... which brings us to now: boxing day. which i normally dislike, but it has been pretty good this year.

i cleaned my room. and now it looks messier than ever. but you've gotta trust me on this... all the places that you can't see (like my drawers and desk and under my bed) are clean. my christmas gift this year was a bed, so i thought i'd better get my room all ready for it. sometime i'll post pix of all the stuff i pulled out from under the bed... lol there sure were a lot of empty kleenex boxes under there. apparently that's where i put my empty kleenex boxes.

so the main thing that i learned this Christmas was that i am extremely blessed. i have a family and friends, and we're all relatively healthy. and alive. i was reminded that i serve a God who has a plan for this world and the things that happen. i was reminded that even though it wasn't fair that an 11-year-old boy took his last breath here on earth on christmas eve, it also wasn't fair that Jesus came to earth for us. I was reminded that as much pain as we feel as we hear about the seemingly unjust things that happen around us, there is Someone who hurts even more. Because i'm convinced that Jesus does ache for us when he sees us hurting. i'm also convinced that even as he hurts with us, He is the one who gives us hope and strength. And i know that He has a purpose for everything that happens, and that instead of questioning what He has carefully chosen to allow, He wants us to search for His will and the peace that comes from following it. (oh jason, i feel like i'm plagiarizing or something... everyone, the credit for what i just wrote goes to jason, cause he is the one who directed my thoughts in that direction and reminded me that what Jesus did for us wasn't fair either.)

okay.. i'm gonna stop now. but i'll be back! cause i want to write about my new bed. which i haven't even bought yet. but i will. i'm so excited! =)

Merry Christmas!