Worship (AKA "The Beginning of Chapter 8")

                There is something about humans that I have been reminded of many, many times.

                Over and over again, I saw it. I still do.

                On a daily basis.

                In the big matters, and the small ones. It tinges all of our lives.

                I believe it is one thing that each generation inherits from the one before them.

                And yet, we can’t blame it on our parents, or our grandparents. Because this is something that we are born with. Perhaps it is either worsened or alleviated by the examples that are set for us. But it seems to come automatically for us. I know it comes naturally for me.

                Selfishness.

                Focusing on one’s self.

                We do it unconsciously.

                But that summer, Tobin taught me the opposite of selfishness.

                “Ahem,” you say, as you cough politely, and inwardly shake your head sadly at my excitement over realizing something so very obvious, “that would be unselfishness, Rylie.”

                And yes, that is true.

                It is possible that I am making this more complicated than it would need to be.

                But I would like to suggest something to you.

                And that is this: Is it possible that there is a much deeper, more exact antonym for the word selfishness than simply unselfishness?

                I think there is.

                And I think that that word is worship.

                Think about it. If selfishness is focusing on yourself, worship is completely devoting yourself to something else. Selfishness is wanting what is best for yourself-wanting to have and appear and be the best, and worship is being in awe of how completely amazing something else is. Selfishness is drawing attention to yourself and worship is forgetting about yourself and devoting all of your attention to something else.

                Selfishness is protecting yourself.

                Worship-worshipping God- is making yourself vulnerable. It is allowing your feelings to write themselves across your face, and closing your eyes and facing the sky, so that anyone who is near can see you, but you cannot see them.

                Because your eyes- they are closed, and focused on what is unseen.

                And your arms are lifted, which brings a whole new sort of vulnerability. Your body is completely unprotected. Someone could walk up to you and punch you in the stomach, and you would not even see them coming, much less be prepared to stop them.

                But you know what?

                You’re not worried about that.

                You are too completely immersed in God, too full of awe, to think about yourself for even a moment.

Worship makes you vulnerable and strips away all of the protective layers that you have wrapped yourself in.

It is definitely not what comes naturally.

But do you know what?

God is not natural.

God- He is supernatural.

It took me a long time to learn that contentment would not come from ensuring that I had everything that I needed, and that focusing on myself gained me absolutely nothing.